"Jesus is the one who sees you when you feel the most invisible"
This past weekend I had the honor of serving at a women’s conference in Dallas. It had been a great day already, filled with joy and powerful moments of prayer. There I was, just quietly listening to a beautiful talk by Sister Amata (of the Sisters of Life). All of a sudden, my mind just stopped. I couldn’t get past the words she spoke. “Jesus is the one who sees you..when you feel the most invisible.” I don’t know why it struck me so much in that moment. All I know is that I couldn’t shake it.
God sees us. He knows us by name. He doesn’t want us to hide. He wants us to draw near.
So why do we still hide sometimes?
I’ve been skinny my whole life. It doesn’t matter what size or age you are, self-image is almost always an issue for women. I remember countless times being made fun of for my weight in middle school. Girls would come up to me and ask if I was anorexic. The lies started. I remember thinking, “Maybe if I was just a little bit bigger, I would be pretty.” I was constantly judging myself on the way my legs looked in shorts or the way my arms looked boney in a sleeveless top. Even though I had a loving mom who told me I was beautiful, I couldn’t shake the pressure for perfection at school. I was the only one in my group of friends that didn’t date until college. Enter in a whole other set of lies. I felt like I wasn’t good enough for anyone. I wasn’t interesting enough, pretty enough, funny enough, smart enough, I was too into my faith etc. It seemed like a non-stop attack from the enemy. The pressures built and built until one day, I heard a message that changed my life forever. It was a simple message that I had heard before, but it had never quite stuck until my youth minister drilled it into us at a women’s session on a retreat.
Jesus loves me. He has claimed me as His.
You see, to the God of the universe, I am everything. I matter. I am loved beyond comprehension. The God who made the stars made every single piece of my body and He loves every single piece. No matter what size it is. No matter what the world thinks is acceptable or pleasing. He loves every single part. He even loves my forgetful mind, my crazy emotions, my (sometimes) klutzy side. He sees me when I feel my ugliest, in my darkest moments of temptation, in joy, in sorrow, in every season. Whether people see me as smart or funny or love able, God sees me. God takes me, just as I am. And the same is true for you, dear sisters.
If we truly believed this, if we as women knew, without a shadow of a doubt, our dignity and value in the Lord, I know this world would be a different place.
There is a song I’ve been listening to recently that has brought a lot of healing to my heart on this matter. It’s called “Wonder” by Bethel. The lyrics talks about being caught up in wonder and awe of God, and seeing beauty in everything He does.
May we never lose our wonder
Wide eyed and mystified, may we be just like a child
Staring at the beauty of the King
You are beautiful in all Your ways
While I know that the song is supposed to be us singing to God, I can’t help but hear God singing it over me.
I know it’s not as easy as hearing a “God loves you!” message to get over the lies that you’ve maybe struggled with for years. It has taken me a long time to get to the point of loving my body, the way God made it. It’s taken me a long time to let Him draw close and show me exactly what He loves about me. Today, don’t be afraid to let God see you. To let God see the mess. To talk to Him about your struggles. Ask Him to show you exactly how He sees you. Pray for the grace to see yourself through His eyes every. single. day. Surround yourself with people who see you as Christ does. This life is too short to hate the way you look. It is a daily choice to see yourself as beautiful and good.
This is my prayer today. That we as women may always be in awe of who God has made us to be / is making us to be. That we never lose sight of the amazing, beautiful, powerful ways He formed us in His image. May we never forget that when we glance in the mirror, we are starring at a reflection of the beauty of the King. May we know that He makes our ways beautiful. He makes everything beautiful. He has the power to create a stunning portrait out of the messy pieces of our lives.
Jesus sees you, today and every day. His heart is on fire with love for you. Just as you are.